Beautiful Night

I had forgotten how much I love entering the night after a long shift at work. I love night time. We were short staffed this weekend and being the on-call nurse, I’m the one who filled in on our TCU (transitional care unit). i haven’t worked the floor in a while since I started my roll as charge nurse, so this was a nice change of pace. Especially when something heart warming happens because I am reminded of why I love my job. A little babushka suddenly wrapped her arms around me and gave me a kiss on the cheek this evening as I was trying to say good night in Russian. Such beautiful moments are addictive and keep me coming back for more even though the job is tough, thankless at times and the pay questionable.

I also had the opportunity to realize my own growth. Having been charge nurse for the last five months and returning to the floor, I had a different perspective and a feeling of greater responsibility.

A thought occurred to me this evening. The COVID epidemic was heart breaking, devastating, challenging and life changing for all. I felt challenged way beyond my comfort zone in every aspect of my life. And I remembered something I read. “Life begins at the end of your comfort zone”. Everything I have experienced has brought me to this point in life beyond my comfort zone. Anything worth while has always pushed me beyond my comfort zone. This is life, the good, the bad, the ups and the downs.

We create our own destiny with the decisions we make as we forge through this ever changing, fast paced high tech world. I have not always taken responsibility for the decisions I’ve made, blaming circumstances and others, but we create these circumstances and we let others influence how we feel. I am more aware than I ever have been and I’m learning that my happiness is alone my decision. And with this comes a new understanding of life itself.